Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
