she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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