32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
