Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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