if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
