he thought i was a dude.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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