Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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