Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
