I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I am spending my child support on dildos
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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