I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
