I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How naked do you want me to be?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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