i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
