My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
