So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
