I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
