No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
