I'm lost and stupid without you.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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