Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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