Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize