At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
