I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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