You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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