I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
