Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
