You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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