I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
