Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
