if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
