he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
