Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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