I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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