ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
