Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
