actually, I'm a sock model
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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