the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
