Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
