i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
