hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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