so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
