I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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