note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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