i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just found puke in my bra..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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