thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
