Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize