Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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