I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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