I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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