going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
