Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
