If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
