Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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