and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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