i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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