Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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