you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Green mimosas i think yes
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
