we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
