I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
