Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
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