i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
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mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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